bright star
by PeppermintP4tty
Summary: another take on "I love you" kind of inspired by the use of Keats in the show


**A/N: Kind of inspired by the episode and also by Heather Hogan's recaps of PLL. It's not great but I wanted to do something and bits of it I really like. Anyway, enjoy.**

So Paige finally said it. Finally said she loved her. Not that Emily doesn't know, didn't know before. Not like Paige's body and Paige's eyes and Paige's voice don't scream it every time they're in the same room. But she said it.

"I love _you_."

After Paige said it and kissed her as if sealing a promise, Emily knotted her hand into Paige's shirt and pulled her into a kiss, Paige smiling like Emily's the most beautiful thing Paige has ever seen, or ever wants to see. Hands tangled in hair, fingers tugging at shirts, messy and breathy. Paige had helped Emily shrug out of her plaid shirt and was halfway to tugging off her Henley when a noise downstairs brought them back to where they were. But they didn't break off kissing, Paige laughing into Emily's mouth as Emily tried to stop Paige's hands. Eventually, Paige placed them on Emily's hips underneath her shirt and Emily snaked her arms around Paige's neck as they rested foreheads, slightly breathless. A few moments later Emily's mum called up that perhaps it was time that Paige should go and they reluctantly broke apart.

"Em? No more sleuthing tonight, huh?"

Emily rolled her eyes,

"I have to see Cece."

Paige shook her head and smiled,

"_Please_ be careful. I don't know what I'd do –"

Emily caught her by the hand again, pulling her towards her to kiss her.

"I'll be fine. It's just Cece."

"Mm. Ok."

And Paige is leaving, looking like she's slain a dragon, happy and brave.

**XXXXX**

Paige's text comes through as Emily's leaving Cece's house and climbing into her car.

_Hey, my folks out tomorrow night, mom says u welcome 2 come over __ - movie night? Hope Cece ok? Miss u xxxx_

**XXXXX**

Next day in school, Emily's walking down the hallway to her locker, looking around for Paige and the girls as Hanna appears, giving her a curious look,

"Hey, Em. You look … _happy_."

"What?"

"After yesterday? I'm guessing I was right and Shana a) isn't a threat, and b) isn't even gay?"

Hanna ticks the points off on her fingers triumphantly. Emily smiles in return,

"Kind of wrong on both counts, Han. Paige and Shana dated in the summer and she really _is_ gay."

Hanna looks puzzled,

"But …"

Emily looks down the hallway and catches sight of Paige, smiling, eyes locked on her. Emily blushes, feels the butterflies in her stomach, and grins without taking her eyes of Paige,

"And Paige told me she loves me."

"Of _course_ she loves you. _I_ could have told you that." Hanna pauses for a blink, "Wait – you mean? She hasn'tsaid it _before_?"

But Emily's not listening, Paige is right there in front of her, smiling and looking at her in _that_ way and it's all she can do to limit herself to just tugging Paige gently towards her and kissing her. Hanna's still looking puzzled.

"So, what's up with Shana then?" both Paige and Emily look curiously at Hanna, who shrugs and turns to her locker, "maybe she just doesn't like blondes."

**XXXXX**

They have English that afternoon. Emily's kind of listening, taking some notes, but a large portion of the lesson is going by with Emily just staring at Paige's back, she's sitting just to the side of her, one row in front so she gets a good view. She can watch Paige shift at her desk, take notes, swallow, knows when she's smiling, or frowning.

"So, Emily?" Mrs Montgomery's voice breaks her reverie, "What's you're take on the poem, what _does_ Keats mean here?"

Emily quickly looks at the board at the comments written, luckily it's this poem, she was reading it the night before in preparation for the session, so she's pretty clued in, she takes a breath,

"Um, I think, he's saying that he wants to be like the stars, um, - a_ star_, to be constant, always there to look after his – his, girlfriend" a couple of the students giggle at this, the whole school knows Emily Fields is gay, she doesn't even try to hide it anymore, "to, you know, _protect_ her" she's watching Paige, whose posture has stiffened as Emily is talking, a flush creeping up her neck, and Emily smiles, lets her voice drop as if she's addressing every word to Paige "and if he can be like the stars, and look after her and be with her, then it'll be like living forever, being immortal. And, um, if not, then he may as well die, you know, _'swoon to death'_ because that's what's going to happen to us all anyway, so we need to make sure we _love_ to make our lives worth something." She stutters to a halt, shrugs and Ella smiles at her,

"Thank you, Emily, that's a great place to start." She's interrupted by a muttered,

"Yeah, Emily Fields knows what it's like to be 'pillowed on a ripening breast', eh McCullers?"

Emily sighs, ignores it, but sees Paige flush again, this time with anger, luckily before she can do anything, Ella steps in,

"And thank you, Mr Kahn, but that's quite enough. Do you have anything _useful_ to add to the discussion?"

Later, as the bell rings, Paige rushes to get out of her seat, barely looking at Emily, until she catches her by the arm.

"Where are you going?"

"Um, I can't," and Paige is looking away, looking anywhere but at Emily.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing."

Emily barks out a short laugh,

"Um, sure. What's going on?" She waits a moment, "is it what happened in here? What I said?"

Paige is squirming now, she blushes again, trying to get her arm out of Emily's grasp.

"No."

"Liar." Emily forces Paige to look at her. "What's going on?" Paige has a look of panic on her face, desperate to get away.

"Em, please."

"No."

Paige lets out a huff and finally shrugs off Emily's arm. She still can't look Emily in the eye. She says in a low voice so Emily has to lean towards her to hear,

"What you said in there? What did it mean? Did you mean it?"

"What? What did I say? What did you hear?"

"You said in front of everybody. Everyone knows we're together." Emily's getting exasperated, "all that stuff about 'protecting' and 'love' – did you mean it? I could feel you looking at me."

Suddenly it drops, what's bugging Paige,

"Oh. Yes, I meant it. But, Paige, what's the matter? Why has that upset you? Did I embarrass you? Like you said, everyone knows we're together."

Paige looks Emily directly in the eye and smiles, then a sadness shifts into her eyes and she looks away,

"It didn't upset me. I just wish you could _say_ it, _to_ me. Urgh." Paige shakes her head, she turns to go. "It's ok. I _know_. Look, I'm just being dumb." She huffs. "I gotta go to Biology – lab partner with Spencer – you know how she is if anyone _dare_ be late. I'll see you later."

Emily tries to hold her back, but she's on her way out of the classroom and Emily has to jog to catch up with her in the corridor.

"We ok for tonight? What time are your parents out?"

Paige has regained some composure with other students around, she takes a breath and smiles at Emily,

"Um, sure," she senses Emily's reaction and says more kindly, "of _course_, I think they're out about 7, 7.30?"

"Shall I come round at 7?"

"Yeah."

Paige kisses Emily and hurries off to her next class. Emily leans on her locker, looks at the ceiling. Wonders how she's managed to mess things up so badly _this_ time.

**XXXXX**

Just after seven, Emily rings the bell at Paige's house. As Paige answers the door, Emily leans in to kiss her. Paige seems a little reluctant, pulling away from her, so Emily deepens the kiss – she's not letting her get away with –

Oh.

"Hello, Emily, dear." Paige's mom. They break off kissing, Paige smirking as she looks at the floor, licks her lips, Emily blushes a deep, deep red but retains her hold on Paige's hand.

"Hi, Mrs McCullers."

"It's good to see you, Paige doesn't invite you round often enough. You must come for tea one night."

"That would be lovely, thank you."

Paige's dad appears straightening his tie. Emily feels Paige stiffen a little, but she doesn't drop Emily's hand and that's a progress in these last couple of weeks.

"C'mon, Ann, we must be off. Girls." He nods at them. "Have a good night."

He nods curtly to Emily, gives Paige a squeeze on her arm and leaves. Paige's mom leans in kisses Paige and then leans over to give Emily a kiss on the cheek. She whispers conspiratorially,

"We'll be gone till at least 12. I'll call if we're going to be earlier than that."

And with a smile and a raise of her eyebrow she's off to the car.

Paige bursts out laughing.

"Oh God."

"If you'd let me, I would have told you they were still here, instead of jumping my bones as soon as I answered the door."

"Will she hate me?"

"My mom? No. My mom loves you – she's always talking about how great you are," and Paige rolls her eyes a little.

Emily's unable to concentrate properly on the movie. She's too much in her head, thinking about her and Paige, her and Maya, -A, Ali, all the things that she shouldn't have to be thinking about at 17. She knows how she feels about Paige, but … Emily decides on the bright idea of _showing_ her, she's getting handsy, fingers wandering under Paige's vest top, tracing wide circles over her stomach as they're laying cuddled together under a blanket on the sofa. Paige swats her hand away and shifts. Emily moves her lips to Paige's neck and begins kissing and nipping. Paige huffs a little and moves to grab the remote, pausing the dvd before fixing Emily with a wry grin and cocked eyebrow.

"Ok. What's going on? You don't like the film?"

Emily smirks, kisses Paige's neck then along her jawline,

"Film's fine. But, I like _you _better and you're parents are out, we're alone in the house and we haven't had much 'alone time' lately."

Paige grins and lets the remote fall to the floor, leaning down she goes to kiss Emily, but Emily's desperate, somehow to _show_ Paige, to make her feel special and make her feel all the things she feels for her. She hurriedly yanks at Paige's vest top, kissing and biting at Paige's lips until Paige yelps after a particularly rough bite and pulls back, simultaneously pushing at Emily's shoulders.

"Em. Stop. Come on, slow down. Not like this. I don't.."

Paige pushes back at Emily until she stops and sits back on her feet, panting. She tries to smile, but it doesn't reach her eyes and she can't look at Paige,

"Em? What's going on?"

"Nothing," she's obstinate, doesn't want to talk, huffs, tries to resume kissing and tugging at Paige's clothes, but Paige isn't having it.

"No! Em. Stop. Please." She goes to stand up, to put some distance between them, but Emily grabs at the front of her top.

"Ok, ok. I'm sorry." Paige gets up anyway, heads to the kitchen.

"I'm getting some water. Want some?"

"No, thanks, I'm ok."

In reality, Paige is giving both of them time to calm down. She _thinks_ she knows what's going on with Emily, but isn't sure. Shakes her head, after this afternoon, Paige has had some time to think. She kind of regrets her outburst, but Emily took her by surprise in class. Paige isn't worried about what Emily says, or doesn't say. Paige knows what Emily feels for her. As she sits back down on the sofa, Paige gently takes one of Emily's hands, brushes some of Emily's hair behind her ear and looks at her.

"Ok. What's going on?" Emily sighs,

"I'm so sorry, Paige, you don't deserve this."

"What? You? You're right there." Paige tries to laugh it off, squeezes Emily's hand.

"No, Paige. _This_. This stupid situation. All of it. It isn't fair. I put you in danger all the time just by you _being_ with me. And – and. I'm _scared_ for you. And then you said you love me –"

"I do." And Paige says it with such certainty, holds it up like a holy grail, that it stops Emily dead. It gives them a moment to just pause and breath. Emily goes to speak, but Paige stops her, she's speaking quietly, but clearly,

"Em? You think I need you to say it? To say I love you, too? I don't." Emily looks questioningly at her, "sure, I'd love it if you did, but, do you think I don't _know_? I _know_ how you feel, Em. I feel it every day. I feel it every time I see you. Emily, you _choose_ me, after all those times before when you didn't," Paige pauses and shrugs, "now you _do_. You believed me and trusted in me over your _friends_. You think I don't know what that means?"

And Emily looks at Paige,

"I _feel_ it. But, things happen. You know things happen to the people I – I tell. I can't lose you."

"Then don't. Don't lose me."

And in Emily's head then, it seems so simple. Don't lose me. She smiles at Paige.

"Ok then, I won't." Paige grins at her.

"No. Don't. Don't ever tell me you love me and then I'll know it's true." She leans down and kisses Emily gently at the side of her mouth. Pulls back and grins again, "anyway, you practically told anyone who was listening in our English class today."

Emily laughs,

"Yeah, I kind of did, didn't I?"

"Mmhm."

Paige is looking cocky now, head tilted, grinning at her. Emily wants to wipe that dumb grin off her face, so she launches herself at her, knocking her back into the corner of the sofa, she kisses her gently pushing her hand under Paige's top, gently squeezing her breast so Paige gasps into the kiss. She pushes at Paige's top until it's over her head, pauses and pulls back to look at Paige,

"This ok now?"

And Paige leans up to kiss her, smiling pulls her down on top of her,

"Yeah, this is _much_ better."


End file.
